i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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