I'm drive I can fine osifer
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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