I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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