Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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