why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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