Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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