who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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