Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
