We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
