I think I am morally bankrupt
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
