so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
