I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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