i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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