would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
send nudes
from the living room?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
