...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
