We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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