she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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