I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
