I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I just had sex on a roof
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
