great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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