Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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