When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
