Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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