My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
