just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
