If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
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