i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
