Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Can Purell be used as lube?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
