Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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