i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
