His pubic hair was longer than his dick
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
When are your genitals available?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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