remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
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just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
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