Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
