I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
