it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
