so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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