I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
