i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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