as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
