On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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