I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
