How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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