He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
