Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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