Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Congratulations! We have a period
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