Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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