I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
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Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
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We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.