Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra