You were right. It hurts to walk today.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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