I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
