JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
