my soul wont recognize me after tonight
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
