Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
