my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
