i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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