We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
