i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
