I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
