I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
