Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
