it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
