Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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