You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
