nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
