he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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