so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
