Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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