were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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