whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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