hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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