she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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