it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
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